Memory Shadow Box for Mom

Last October I made my first ever altered printers tray. The link for that post is here.

While on my recent trip to Indy for my Mom's funeral, I went to a craft store to purchase some black foam board to create Memorial boards of Mom with assorted photos. While perusing the aisles, I saw a display of the shadow boxes/printers trays. I probably stood there for at least 5 minutes. I picked up a tray, thought about the possibilities, then put it back. I repeated that several times. I had only made one before, and although it was cute, I was intimidated by the ones that used real photos and such. Finally, I stuck it in my cart and searched for items to put in the tray.

Here is the completed project.

I only put in 3 real photos in my memory box. That made it fairly easy. I purchased an assortment of stickers, buttons, etc. to put in the various boxes. I tried to find items that represented Mom's interests & hobbies.

Mom LOVED to play Scrabble & other word games, so I found some letter blocks in the scrapbooking section. The sewing items are mostly buttons. I cut the backs off so they would lay flat. I adhered most things with glue dots. Lucky for me, Mom was a big crafter, so I was able to use lots of her own items.

The elephant & letter "C" charm were from the jewelry craft section. The puzzle piece was left from one of the many puzzles that mom put together. It didn't make it back to its box and my family had no idea where it belonged, so it was fair game!

The little books were also from the jewelry crafts. Notice the little crack in the frame on the side? I'm going to have to fix that. It was awkward to transport.

When it was finished, I was quite pleased with how it turned out. We put it on display at the visitation and funeral and received lots of compliments on it.

I am looking forward to making my next Memory Shadow Box/Printer's Tray. Not sure what theme it will be.

Saying Goodbye to Mom

In early May, my father, siblings and I had a conference call with some of Mom's doctors. The MRSA was back in full force and destroying Mom's new heart valve. We were given 3 options. One option was to try heart surgery. However, we felt that Mom wasn't strong enough for that. It was also most likely that the doctors wouldn't consider her a candidate either. The 2nd option was to take her off the ventilator. The third option was to treat her with heavy antibiotics to try to control the MRSA. We went with the 3rd option.

After a couple of weeks, there was no improvement. So with heavy hearts, we chose to go with option 2. I flew up to Indianapolis late on Monday, May 20th. The next morning (Tuesday), Dad & I went to the hospital to see Mom. She hardly resembled the strong woman I called Mom. She had been confined to the hospital for 102 days. She had a Living Will in place and would not want to continue like that.

Dad & I formally notified the hospital staff of our intentions. The hospital chaplains came in to performed a blanket ceremony. We held hands and circled Mom's bed. The chaplains presented my father with a blue quilt that was handmade by some of the hospital staff. My father & I placed the quilt on Mom. This was to signify the change from "Care" mode to "Comfort" mode.  One chaplain offered up a prayer, another one read the 23rd Psalm. Then we all sang Amazing Grace.

Shortly after the blanket ceremony, Mom's ventilator was taken off. We were told that it could take anywhere from 2 hours to 2 days before she passed away. I spent the rest of the afternoon there. My sister arrived late that afternoon after a 3 day drive from Las Vegas. We stayed for a little bit, then went back to Dad's house.

I spent most of Wednesday at the hospital.

At 2:30 am early Thursday, we received a phone call from the nurse saying that Mom's heart rate & oxygen levels had gone down dramatically and that she probably didn't have much time left. My father & I went to the hospital right away. Dad & I talked for the first couple of hours. We had some wonderful conversations. He told me about how he met Mom and other stories. Some that I had heard before, and others that were new to me. After a couple of hours, we just couldn't stay awake any longer, so we napped as best as we could. I woke up shortly before 7am. I ran downstairs to use the bathroom, then when I came back to the room, the nurses were in the room. They said that her numbers had gone down even more and that this was it. There wasn't a dramatic last breath, but she did stop breathing.

Chris & the kids arrived on Friday. This was the last week of school for James & Hannah, so I wanted them to be there for that. Besides, my high school aged son had Final Exams to take! It was a holiday weekend, so we scheduled the Visitation for Monday afternoon/evening and the Funeral for Tuesday. Her cremains were buried in North Salem, Indiana on Wednesday.

It was really lovely seeing so many old and familiar faces at the visitation and Funeral. It's a shame that you only see some of these people at weddings and funerals. After Chris' father died in March, we've decided to make a bigger effort to keep in touch with our long distant family members.

Mom's funeral was really a Celebration of her Life. As the family walked in to be seated, James, Hannah & their cousins each carried a single rose. Then they placed it in a vase in the front of the church. I was so pleased to have them be a part of their grandmother's service. The Disciples Regional Minister spoke, as well as the President of Overseas Ministries. Bethany & I shared our memories, too. There was a mix of laughter and tears. Bethany's former cello teacher performed one of Mom's favorite songs, Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. The church music director came back early from a trip to sing at the service. The women of the church served a huge feast afterwards. Mom would have been pleased.

I was completely overwhelmed by the generosity of so many! Before Chris left, he received a card with an assortment of gift cards for gas & fast food from two of our friends. One friend left dinner for us when we returned. It was so nice to just pop something in the oven after traveling all day. Each day I was in Indianapolis, dinner was brought to us by a different person each night.


Mom was buried on the 29th. Her stone will go to the right of my Dad's parents (pictured lower left).

Mom's Obituary: http://bussellfamilyfunerals.com/sitemaker/sites/BUSSEL1/obit.cgi?user=995389Swain

Thinking of Mom on Mother's Day

I'm just not feeling it this Mother's Day. Today marks the 93rd day that my Mom has been in the hospital.  There have been at least 3 times where we were sure she was going to die within the next 24 hours. I've feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster.

I miss my mommy!

A quick recap of Mom's health problems. These may be out of order, it's hard to keep track! And I may have forgotten something. She started with a knee replacement surgery in November. Then she had the rapid heartbeat/Afib. A couple of little strokes; MRSA; heart valve replacement; collapsed lung; internal bleeding (needed 18 units of blood/plasma); tracheotomy/ventilator; and most recent development is that the MRSA vegetation is back & on her new heart valves.

Mom still has a long way to go before she's back. And it's possible she may not come back.

So in honor of Mother's Day, here are some pictures of my Mom.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you!

Visiting My Mom at the Hospital

The week before Thanksgiving, my mother had her second knee replacement surgery. The first one had been successful so we weren't expecting any problems with this one. A few days after she got home from the surgery, the visiting nurse noticed that Mom's heartbeat was too high, so mom was immediately sent back to the hospital. They were able to adjust/add some medications so Mom was able to go back home after a while.

We visited my parents right after Christmas. Mom wasn't feeling great while we were there. She was experiencing a lot of nausea from the medicines and not eating much as a result. She was also more tired than usual. We did get to spend some quality time with her. Here is a picture of Hannah with Grandma Charlotte during that visit.

I won't pretend to know all of the medical terms and such. At some time, mom was diagnosed with A-Fib. As I understand it, that's basically just a term for the irregular heart beat. They tried a Cardioversion on her which seemed to help for about a week. They took her off of the medicine that was causing the nausea. There was at least one day that mom was feeling almost normal. One February 9th she went back to the Heart Center and has been there ever since. She had 1 or 2 more Cardioversions which didn't work.

My sister decided to fly to Indy  to spend some time with Mom. While Bethany was there, Mom had a couple of scary episodes where she was completely unresponsive. Plus, they thought that Mom might have a Staph infection. Not only did Mom have Staph, but she had Staph Aureus. Then we found out that not only did she have Staph Aureus, but it was MRSA which is even worse. Bethany told me that I might want to consider going up to Indy.

 I drove up on Monday, Feb. 18th. I made good time and arrived in 8.5 hours. I only spent an hour or so at the hospital at that time. By this time, Mom was not very lucid.

I spent most of the day on Tuesday at the hospital. We received lots of news and most of it was not good. We saw the cardiologist, neurologist, the infectious disease doctor and cardiac surgeon. We learned that Mom had at least 2 small strokes sometime prior to Saturday. Her heart valves had been heavily damaged by the MRSA vegetation. She's going to need heart surgery, but they want to get the infection cleared up as much as possible first. Bethany was very good at writing detailed updates on Face Book.

When we got home on Tuesday, I seriously thought we were going to lose Mom within the next day or two. But on Wednesday & Thursday she showed improvement. She was able to communicate somewhat and she was using humor and sarcasm. She still has a long way to go, but I am feeling a little optimistic now.

Here's a picture of Daddy & Bethany. We had to wear these yellow paper gowns and purple gloves while in Mom's room.

Bethany & me

We spent a lot of time playing games on our electronic devices. I didn't take any close pictures of Mom out of consideration to her. (She didn't look too great!) But here's a picture of Bethany with Mom in the background.

I left on Thursday. A winter ice storm was approaching Indy and I didn't want to get stuck there. I will probably go back in a few weeks to give Daddy a break. Since Mom's communication abilities are not very good, we tried to have someone there all day as an advocate for her. Plus, there were always doctors coming in and we didn't want to miss anything.

Thank you for all the prayers, good thoughts, etc. This 45 year old is not ready to lose her Mommy!

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day always warrants a phone call to my mom. However, this year, it's a little more complicated. My mom is somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. My parents left on Monday for a 3 week cruise. They left from Fort Lauderdale and are making their way to Rome. Once in Rome, they go to the Mediterranean where they will be visiting Italy, Greece, Turkey, and the Canary Islands. She left me a phone number, but I know she would not want me to call her at the $7.99 per minute rates for shipboard phone calls. She's sensible that way.


So in honor of my mom on Mother's Day, here is a portrait that my sister did of Mom's high school graduation picture.




Here's a picture from 2009 of my sister and me with Mom and our daughters.



And some Mother's Day humor.


My mom actually did have a super hero cape. She wore it when she was PTO president to promote the school's spring (or fall?) festival. Happy Mother's Day!