After a couple of weeks, there was no improvement. So with heavy hearts, we chose to go with option 2. I flew up to Indianapolis late on Monday, May 20th. The next morning (Tuesday), Dad & I went to the hospital to see Mom. She hardly resembled the strong woman I called Mom. She had been confined to the hospital for 102 days. She had a Living Will in place and would not want to continue like that.
Dad & I formally notified the hospital staff of our intentions. The hospital chaplains came in to performed a blanket ceremony. We held hands and circled Mom's bed. The chaplains presented my father with a blue quilt that was handmade by some of the hospital staff. My father & I placed the quilt on Mom. This was to signify the change from "Care" mode to "Comfort" mode. One chaplain offered up a prayer, another one read the 23rd Psalm. Then we all sang Amazing Grace.
Shortly after the blanket ceremony, Mom's ventilator was taken off. We were told that it could take anywhere from 2 hours to 2 days before she passed away. I spent the rest of the afternoon there. My sister arrived late that afternoon after a 3 day drive from Las Vegas. We stayed for a little bit, then went back to Dad's house.
I spent most of Wednesday at the hospital.
At 2:30 am early Thursday, we received a phone call from the nurse saying that Mom's heart rate & oxygen levels had gone down dramatically and that she probably didn't have much time left. My father & I went to the hospital right away. Dad & I talked for the first couple of hours. We had some wonderful conversations. He told me about how he met Mom and other stories. Some that I had heard before, and others that were new to me. After a couple of hours, we just couldn't stay awake any longer, so we napped as best as we could. I woke up shortly before 7am. I ran downstairs to use the bathroom, then when I came back to the room, the nurses were in the room. They said that her numbers had gone down even more and that this was it. There wasn't a dramatic last breath, but she did stop breathing.
Chris & the kids arrived on Friday. This was the last week of school for James & Hannah, so I wanted them to be there for that. Besides, my high school aged son had Final Exams to take! It was a holiday weekend, so we scheduled the Visitation for Monday afternoon/evening and the Funeral for Tuesday. Her cremains were buried in North Salem, Indiana on Wednesday.
It was really lovely seeing so many old and familiar faces at the visitation and Funeral. It's a shame that you only see some of these people at weddings and funerals. After Chris' father died in March, we've decided to make a bigger effort to keep in touch with our long distant family members.
Mom's funeral was really a Celebration of her Life. As the family walked in to be seated, James, Hannah & their cousins each carried a single rose. Then they placed it in a vase in the front of the church. I was so pleased to have them be a part of their grandmother's service. The Disciples Regional Minister spoke, as well as the President of Overseas Ministries. Bethany & I shared our memories, too. There was a mix of laughter and tears. Bethany's former cello teacher performed one of Mom's favorite songs, Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. The church music director came back early from a trip to sing at the service. The women of the church served a huge feast afterwards. Mom would have been pleased.
I was completely overwhelmed by the generosity of so many! Before Chris left, he received a card with an assortment of gift cards for gas & fast food from two of our friends. One friend left dinner for us when we returned. It was so nice to just pop something in the oven after traveling all day. Each day I was in Indianapolis, dinner was brought to us by a different person each night.
Mom was buried on the 29th. Her stone will go to the right of my Dad's parents (pictured lower left).
Mom's Obituary: http://bussellfamilyfunerals.com/sitemaker/sites/BUSSEL1/obit.cgi?user=995389Swain
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